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High's and Low's

21 May 2012

 My weekend was an exercise in contrasts.  Friday night, I'd organized some Farewell Drinks with colleagues, which is the standard practice around here.  I was encouraged by many of my coworkers to have a proper venue where they could say goodbye.  Since I'm in sales and am, therefore, field based, I don't have tons of coworkers that I would consider friends enough to see on a Friday night.  I made the list, counted it twice, and it totaled 15 people.  The email went out a couple of weeks ago, and many people RSVP'ed yes.  However, when Friday rolled around, the excuses started pouring in.  What started as 10, began to dwindle as 'family issues', 'a bad night's sleep', 'more family issues', and 'other engagements' chimed into my phone.


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One of my oldest friends with the company, and the person who connected me with this job in Australia, was the first to arrive.  It was lovely to visit with him, but I couldn't shake the black cloud hanging over me, knowing that so many people cancelled, and it would be a very sparse turnout.  In my head, I thought he must be judging me that no one else showed up.  Finally, another friend showed up, almost two hours late.  Not long after he arrived, my first friend bid me farewell.  I wonder if he felt an obligation to stay until someone else arrived.  A few more trickled in later, and another friend {who swore up and down he'd be there}, turned out to be having drinks in the city, but just couldn't make the effort to come to where we were.

The alcohol wasn't sitting well with me, and my girlfriend was on a crazy, drunken mission to Surry Hills, when I made a last-minute decision to call it a night and hopped into a cab.  At that point, I just longed to be home with my husband.  A person in my life who would never find an excuse that was more important than me.  It was the eve of his birthday, and it seemed like that was where I belonged all along.

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What's more upsetting to me than the disappointment of flaky coworkers, is that it still gets to me.  I wish I could truly, with complete honesty, say that it didn't matter; that I knew I was loved, and supported, and that I would be missed.  You see, in my heart of hearts, I know these things to be true!  And yet, when I was sitting in that bar, I couldn't help but feel that it was a popularity contest and I lost.

To be honest, I didn't even want to blog about it, because there's something even worse about saying it out loud.  But I guess this is my way of proving to myself that it's okay to be disappointed in the moment, but then to bounce back because my life is full of people who love and support me.

Funny enough, it seemed the Universe wanted to remind me of that as well.  On Saturday, J and I had an amazing brunch on the water for his birthday.  Then, we went to play mini-golf with friends.  What started out as 4 of us, quickly grew into 14 people--and several of our friends unexpectedly decided to join at the last minute.  We had an amazing day, and I soaked in all the laughs, and smiles, and memories. Our friend Prue surprised us with birthday cakes--complete with candles and presents!  The sun shined all day, and it was simply perfect in every way.

And, what's even better, I got back-to-back hole in one's on the first two holes of the course!


 
 

I'm glad my focus has returned to love and gratitude....and fun.


How was your weekend?

10 comments:

  1. This makes me sad :( but in a happy way? I'm happy it has a happy ending but I'm sad that you felt sad. You should've called me. I can pretend to do what you do! Then I could've come to your party, to make up for the one I can't attend :(

    OMG AM I LIKE ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE? I have a genuine excuse though AND I made other plans to make up for being employed and in high demand at work.

    Well now I'm just sad. I'm glad you're happy though, haha!

    Xxx

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  2. True, true story. You really get to know a person when they totally diss you. I cannot take a personal seriously when they flake out on things. I used to get really upset and disappointed like there was something wrong with me. Now I know it is their loss and I cannot control their life, but do not come crawling to me when you need something!

    Now I feel better too. Thanks for letting me vent.

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  3. Oh man, my heart so goes out to you, friend! I know what it feels like to have people flake and cancel on you . It's no fun at all, and it really makes you feel unworthy and unloved. But also, it lets you know who your true friends are and that's important. I'm glad your weekend was redeemed by those who clearly DO love you!

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  4. Oh man, my heart so goes out to you, friend! I know what it feels like to have people flake and cancel on you . It's no fun at all, and it really makes you feel unworthy and unloved. But also, it lets you know who your true friends are and that's important. I'm glad your weekend was redeemed by those who clearly DO love you!

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  5. You've gotta have the valleys to appreciate the peaks, right?

    I had a great weekend. Hung out with the husband ( a rarity these days! ) and did some serious thinking about what happens when we get back to CA in August.

    Hang in there Em!

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  6. makes me sad for you friend to read this :/

    BUT... YOU get to make the decision of who you want to keep in contact with and who can sit at work dwelling on the fact that you're gone and the place just isn't the same any more! WOMP to them ;)

    Glad you had a great recovery day with your boo and friends!! It's those moments that make the others not matter (so much).

    Happy Monday friend!

    Xo,
    Bev

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  7. Girlfriend, I would have gone if I was out there!!!!

    Maybe you should have a welcome home party and then all of us can greet you and say BOO YA to your flaky friends.
    Yes. Boo Ya. That'll show 'em..

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  8. I don't plan things for exactly that reason. I feel so awful that that happened to you. It is easy to tell yourself that those aren't your real friends and oodles of people love you and you know it is true but in the moment, it just feels icky. It must've been great to know that you had a wonderful husband to go home to who will always be your number one fan. I'm glad the weekend turned around and you kicked some booty at mini golf!

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  9. I know exactly how you felt. I've had that happen to me before too and it feels horrible. Now, I've learned to just expect a little less because it seems that people always seem to find an excuse. I'm so glad Saturday was better!!

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  10. I've had stuff like this happen to me in the past, and it sucks. Which is why I just stick to my handful of faithful friends now.

    Glad the weekend ended on a bright note though!

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Every comment makes me smile :)

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